Spiritual Motherhood

After God created Adam and Eve, He told them to physically multiply (Genesis 1:28), and with the 8.2 billion people living on earth, we have proof they fulfilled their mission. However, this physical reproduction unfortunately and automatically reproduced Adam’s and Eve’s original sin in every child born to them and in all children born in the entire world.

Before Christ ascended to heaven, He left a command to His believers to spiritually multiply by making disciples (Matthew 28:16-20). His command offers the Christian woman the opportunity to exercise spiritual motherhood. Every time a woman gives birth to a child, through no fault of her own, that child is born with a sinful nature. Spiritual motherhood can change this situation if the believing woman obeys the Lord Jesus’ command to go and make disciples and testify about what He accomplished on the cross for the good of humanity.

This means that women also have the responsibility to share the gospel because spiritual multiplication, which cost Christ His life, is only achieved by a person believing in the sacrifice He made on the cross and through faith and repentance accepting the gift of God’s grace and salvation (Ephesians 2:8-9). This truth needs to be shared (Romans 10:14-15).

Spiritual motherhood shares some similar responsibilities with physical motherhood. Just as a physical mother guides her child to maturity, a spiritual mother cares, nurtures, loves, and guides a new believer (or an immature older believer) to live a holy and godly life.

A spiritual mother is a believer who after being saved and discipled herself is committed to obeying the Great Commission (Matthew 28:17-20) by intentionally helping another woman or child come to know Christ more deeply and to live according to God’s desires and commands. The spiritual mother invests her time in serving and biblically teaching another—transparently sharing her Christian experiences, her heart, her home, and her spiritual life to nurture and mentor another.

The woman who chooses to minister by spiritually mothering needs to remember that she is not called to perfection because only Christ is perfect. She recognizes that spiritual motherhood is a divine mandate and should not be a burden that causes stress, destroys families, or harms her relationship with her husband or with her family. It is important to remember that a spiritual mother, if married, cannot neglect her responsibilities as a mother and wife to minister to another person. Her priority is her personal relationship with God and the care of her own family.

Believing women trying to navigate this ministry of spiritual motherhood need to consider and understand that a spiritual mother:

• Evangelizes and promotes independence: A spiritual mother shares the gospel, explaining to her spiritual daughter, who is perhaps a unbeliever, the importance of recognizing that we are all sinners in need of a Savior (Romans 3:23), that she needs to repent of her sins (Acts 3:19), confess them (1 John 1:9), and receive Christ as her Lord and Savior (Romans 10:9) by faith and the grace of God (Ephesians 2:8-9) with the goal that she will then lead others to do the same.

I’ve heard a woman say, “My spiritual mother always helps me,” but if this is the case, spiritual motherhood has not been adequately done. The goal of spiritual motherhood is Christian maturity. Discipleship should not cause human dependance but reliance upon the Holy Spirit. The goal is for the spiritual mother to become someone who is sought for advice, opinions, and prayers, but not someone who constantly directs the daughter’s spiritual walk.

A spiritual mother can share the gospel with another woman, guiding this new believer in such a way that she flourishes, walks with God, and follows the same example (2 Timothy 2:2).

• Focuses on discipleship: Discipling someone has several purposes: to pass on what you have learned about God’s Word to others as indicated in 2 Timothy 2:2: “The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” Discipling also enriches the disciple maker’s spiritual life. No one knows everything, and as one woman disciples another, the disciple maker also grows in her biblical understanding.

A woman who disciples another woman helps her learn about the importance of prayer, reading the Bible every day, serving God, and modeling good character (1 Corinthians 4:16). The disciple maker encourages the mentee to associate with other believers, promote spiritual reproduction, and live a holy life. The spiritual mother can purchase discipling materials produced by Christian organizations (LifeWay, NavPress, etc.,) or she can use materials produced by a church.

• Maintains her faith: A woman who chooses to practice spiritual motherhood needs to stay close to God through daily fellowship with Him. She helps the woman she serves stay faithful by modeling what it means to be accountable, teaching her the importance of Christian responsibility (tithing, praying, serving, worshipping, etc.), staying close to God by studying the Bible, and gathering with other believers.

While discipleship requires transparency and vulnerability, it’s very important to remember that the spiritual mother has a personal life that should remain personal. Although there is a great deal of transparency in a spiritual mother-daughter relationship, there are also parts of a woman’s life that are personal and should not be shared (e.g., her intimate life with her husband, the private lives of her children, etc.).

• Listens attentively (James 1:19): Listening is crucial for spiritual motherhood. A person cannot teach another, nor learn from another, if she does not listen attentively. There will always be time to express opinions after listening first.
• Exercises self-control by staying away from gossip (1 Timothy 3:11), manifesting the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) by controlling her emotions, staying humble, and asking for forgiveness and forgiving when necessary (Matthew 6:14-15).
• Provides professional help to the one she mothers: The spiritual mother is not a professional counselor but a mentor. A spiritual mother prays for discernment to discover when it is necessary to refer a woman for professional help (talk to your pastor or the person in charge of Christian education at your church).
• Does not control the person she serves as spiritual mother: The spiritual mother guides and encourages, but she does not exercise personal control of the person she mentors. Spiritual mothering is a voluntary ministry of obedience to God, not a justification to take advantage of and abuse people. A woman who decides to be a spiritual mother to a new believer but who is not ready to be one can destroy her own testimony, mistreat the mentee spiritually and confuse her.
• Is a humble soldier anchored in Christ: In the spiritual maternal relationship, the one who serves remains under the leadership of Jesus Christ, who enlisted her as a soldier as Paul said to Timothy: “Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him” (2 Timothy 2:3-4). A woman who wants to be a spiritual mother needs to know the responsibility of the task, trust God, and pray for the results while living a godly life and being anchored in Christ and the Word of God.

Relationships in the context of spiritual motherhood are not easy. Spiritual motherhood is a service of love to God that will require time, anguish, kneeling before God, and sometimes weeping for the suffering of others. But to participate in this ministry brings great joy, peace, and rejoicing because it provides the opportunity to love others, honor and obey God, and build up His church.