Celebrating singleness is a daily struggle for most single women I know. There are mountain top moments when you feel so close to the Lord. Then, there are pits of loneliness where you beg God to take away the pain and heartache. Because for most of us, we dreamed of being a bride, standing in front of a man who chose us – only us – out of a world full of women. Not only did we dream this dream for us, but so did our mothers, sisters and grandmothers. So, when life doesn’t turn out as planned, you might wonder if the Lord has forgotten you. You might wonder, “how long, Lord, must I wait?” Doesn’t he see me, my situation, my desires… how I’ve served him faithfully?
Thankfully, we have access to the Lord and his word and can know that he is faithful. He sees us; he knows our situation; he knows our desires; and he knows the thoughts and intentions of our hearts. In Genesis 16, Hagar fled into the wilderness in complete distress, and when approached by the angel of the Lord, she acknowledged, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me” (Gen. 16:13b). He saw her situation, her loneliness and her fear; then he blessed her.
Though it’s hard to celebrate your singleness when you feel lonely and forgotten, this season can also be a sweet time of healing and growth, a time of serving the Lord without distraction and a time of peace. So how can we make this a time of celebration instead of despair?
- Be in community with God. Know God – to know God, you must know his word. The more you get to know God, the more you grow in confidence that the Lord knows what he’s doing and that his ways are better. Be in prayer – talk to God. These words from the psalmist, speaking to the Lord, have brought me through some of the worst times of my life: “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:25-26). Let that be our prayer. God is enough.
- Be in community with godly people. Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.” Life is better with companions. A companion isn’t just a spouse. It can be a friend, a family member, a neighbor or a coworker. It’s someone you do life with. If you go through life alone – even the introverts – you will remain in a pit of longing and loneliness. But when you struggle in community, you have sisters beside you ready to pick you up.
Outside of following the Lord and his will, I’ve never wanted anything more than I’ve wanted to be a godly wife and mother. And I know I’m not alone in that desire. So, actually celebrating this single season takes the power of the Holy Spirit and the love of dear friends reminding us of the beauty of God’s plan and his timing. When that happens, we reflect on his sustaining power and his gracious love towards us. Know that when we have moments of uncertainty about the future, He will be with us.